Just a quick note: I’m back in Raleigh, living out of Airbnbs until I can get an approval on a place to live, handling logistics, and working through some really tough emotions.
No two people on this earth go through horrendous pain of soul in the same way.
Grief, in whatever form it takes, for whatever reason, is a brutal companion. Supposedly, we work through it. I'm personally stuck in the anger phase and no one gets it.
Years of unresolved issues, words spoken with personal attack in mind, things done on purpose....play over and over until the suffocation begins and you hope for death of memory.
You know this all too well.
You have now before you the part you've dreaded most. There is no way but through it.
Firm resolve, Steve. You are as prepared as any soldier....but even the most prepared doubt.
They go into battle afraid, fearing the unknown. They win the battle that rages within.
I sincerely hope, Steve, that you are getting to do a few familiar things like seeing your kids and fixing dinner for them and walking them to school. You're their Dad! I believe it essential for your and their mental health for you to be allowed to do this ASAP.
This is a thread from "before," that I really hope will resume and soon. It's one of the things that ought not to fall apart. And it will help create some normalcy and be enormously comforting.
Also, I hope you find a good therapist -- as someone to talk to. You sound very cogent and on top of your own emotions and aware of what's going on. It is just so terribly helpful to talk to someone who is on your side. It is unfortunate in these situations that former partners are not in a position to be nice.
Sorry about all those emotions. You sound like you're the kind of person who craves positive human connection like me (emphasis on positive.) I know this seems ridiculous, but I also think you should start thinking about going on a few non-physical, companionable dates. Yes! Could you join a separated/divorced Meet-Up in Raleigh? Might be nice to discover you are not alone. I'm not talking about anything serious, but also I'm not suggesting anything unethical. I'm talking about allowing yourself to feel like a human being again, an attractive, viable human being.
You seem like a man of strong feelings -- yet feelings are not all who we are. Remind yourself here is a big world out there, filled with other people, some of them women, who might simply find it interesting to share a coffee with you. I can assure you, it will make you feel stronger next time you have to face that person who was once your spouse and now seems like an unkind stranger. It will - I know, cause I did it.
Steve,
No two people on this earth go through horrendous pain of soul in the same way.
Grief, in whatever form it takes, for whatever reason, is a brutal companion. Supposedly, we work through it. I'm personally stuck in the anger phase and no one gets it.
Years of unresolved issues, words spoken with personal attack in mind, things done on purpose....play over and over until the suffocation begins and you hope for death of memory.
You know this all too well.
You have now before you the part you've dreaded most. There is no way but through it.
Firm resolve, Steve. You are as prepared as any soldier....but even the most prepared doubt.
They go into battle afraid, fearing the unknown. They win the battle that rages within.
I’ll be sure to include in my prayers today.
I sincerely hope, Steve, that you are getting to do a few familiar things like seeing your kids and fixing dinner for them and walking them to school. You're their Dad! I believe it essential for your and their mental health for you to be allowed to do this ASAP.
This is a thread from "before," that I really hope will resume and soon. It's one of the things that ought not to fall apart. And it will help create some normalcy and be enormously comforting.
Also, I hope you find a good therapist -- as someone to talk to. You sound very cogent and on top of your own emotions and aware of what's going on. It is just so terribly helpful to talk to someone who is on your side. It is unfortunate in these situations that former partners are not in a position to be nice.
Sorry about all those emotions. You sound like you're the kind of person who craves positive human connection like me (emphasis on positive.) I know this seems ridiculous, but I also think you should start thinking about going on a few non-physical, companionable dates. Yes! Could you join a separated/divorced Meet-Up in Raleigh? Might be nice to discover you are not alone. I'm not talking about anything serious, but also I'm not suggesting anything unethical. I'm talking about allowing yourself to feel like a human being again, an attractive, viable human being.
You seem like a man of strong feelings -- yet feelings are not all who we are. Remind yourself here is a big world out there, filled with other people, some of them women, who might simply find it interesting to share a coffee with you. I can assure you, it will make you feel stronger next time you have to face that person who was once your spouse and now seems like an unkind stranger. It will - I know, cause I did it.
Thanks, Henrietta. I have not been able to see them yet, and that’s one of the things weighing on me. That’s all I can say about that for now.
I get it.
I will be praying for you, Steve. God Bless.
Asking St. Anthony to find you a place ASAP.... God bless brother.
Hang in there! My dad suffered a lot in his life, that was his mantra.