Hey Steve, good to hear from you (and if any of us were expecting expressed gratitude, I'll just say you are helping us do what Jesus told us to do: give to one without expecting repayment. But you write, and that is my recompense, thank you.) Take the long way home. God bless.
You've got me remembering the 'grand tour' of sorts I took out West after my junior year of high school. Wall Drug, Mount Rushmore, the Badlands, Yellowstone, Rocky Mountains, Little Bighorn - it opened up something inside me that changed me forever. If you're contemplating something like that, I hope it will do some good for you too.
Of course, as a loyal Midwesterner, I'd be remiss if I didn't pitch heading up to the UP to catch the amazing fall colors up there—and, perhaps, a dip in Lake Superior to liven the senses! I know you said you're not much of a camper, but you might be able to find a nice place along the lake to pitch a tent. I imagine most of the cabins up there are booked now, but you never know...
In any event, while my heart grieves for your loss, I look forward to hearing continued reports from your journey—an Odyssey of sorts, you might say. Fair winds and following seas, Steve.
(I had read certain of your articles, here and there, across a bit of time. Then Dreher drew my attention to your present situation and I wanted to subscribe.) Anyone who writes knows how dastardly hard it is to write, and to write regularly, consistently--even under optimal circumstances On the other hand, it sometimes happens that the most difficult circumstances force a writer's best, or at least most effective, work. In short, reading your journey brings to those far, far outside of your life and circle important reflections. Important reflections from a terrific writer!. If a person has lived long at all, he or she (we all) has made some tough "heroic" journeys, and so we definitely relate.
Hey Steve, I know your present relationship with Christian praxis is a little, shall we say, fraught, but have you considered going on pilgrimage? I just got back from the Auriesville pilgrimage. In the little group I was in, we had a number of folks who were there to essentially work through some serious soul-searching. One guy was fresh out of several years in an Irish monastery. I dunno, just seems to me like you would fit right in with a lot of the people there.
As a stranger who responded to your financial appeal and sympathizes with your pain, I would urge you to stay in one place, near your children, and to get a very good lawyer and the best possible mental health care. Don’t travel. True friends will travel to see you. As one who appreciates your writing talent and wishes the best for you, I also would urge you NOT to keep writing and publishing about your personal problems. Please remember the maxim about doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. The outcome that anyone who cares about you should want, including strangers like me who happen to read about your plight, is not to be able to read more installments of serial writing about your personal train wrecks. It is an outcome that benefits your many children and their mother and contributes to their healing and stability even before your own healing and stability. With no disrespect intended against you, it can be inferred that the invisible protagonist of the Heroic Journey is your wife.
I understand where you're coming from here. But my journey, such as it is, won't be long. Maybe a couple weeks.
I need the space too. I shoulder a lot of blame, but things at home haven't been easy for a long while.
Being away has made it possible to breathe for the first time in a long time. The generosity of friends means the only cost I'm incurring is gas (and the used car I traded for is averaging over 26mpg). This trip is a reset so I can get my head on straight, not a vacation or a permanent absence. I've been in a pressure cooker for years. I need time to think. All the friends I've been visiting with who know more of the details than I can or am willing to publish here agree that this is the best thing I could be doing right now.
The biggest obstacle to going back and living close is that I don't know anyone there. I will be alone pretty much all the time. Life in my family home is very busy. I don't even know how often I'll be able to visit, or how welcome I will be when I can. If things follow their current track, it's going to be very awkward.
Nobody is meant to be alone, but as an externalizer (too much chaos inside, need to talk things out in writing or out loud to process - hence the confessional writing style), I am particularly ill-suited to be alone 24/7 with something this heavy. Seeing my kids periodically and having to go back to an empty rented room with no-one to talk to about how that makes me feel is a particular kind of torture I am anticipating with great anxiety.
And as much as I would love for my friends to travel to see me, they all have busy families of their own. I don't think it's very realistic to expect that of them.
My writing will not be a series of installments on "personal train wrecks," either. Almost nobody will want to read that. It will, however, include discoveries I've made along the way.
As for who the protagonist is? We each have our own "hero's journey." She's made a clear delineation about that. I can only write about mine.
Jaxson Dart looked pretty good! Not going to compete with the Birds anytime soon, but nothing like having a rookie QB to give you a little ray of hope!
Hey Steve, good to hear from you (and if any of us were expecting expressed gratitude, I'll just say you are helping us do what Jesus told us to do: give to one without expecting repayment. But you write, and that is my recompense, thank you.) Take the long way home. God bless.
You've got me remembering the 'grand tour' of sorts I took out West after my junior year of high school. Wall Drug, Mount Rushmore, the Badlands, Yellowstone, Rocky Mountains, Little Bighorn - it opened up something inside me that changed me forever. If you're contemplating something like that, I hope it will do some good for you too.
Of course, as a loyal Midwesterner, I'd be remiss if I didn't pitch heading up to the UP to catch the amazing fall colors up there—and, perhaps, a dip in Lake Superior to liven the senses! I know you said you're not much of a camper, but you might be able to find a nice place along the lake to pitch a tent. I imagine most of the cabins up there are booked now, but you never know...
In any event, while my heart grieves for your loss, I look forward to hearing continued reports from your journey—an Odyssey of sorts, you might say. Fair winds and following seas, Steve.
(I had read certain of your articles, here and there, across a bit of time. Then Dreher drew my attention to your present situation and I wanted to subscribe.) Anyone who writes knows how dastardly hard it is to write, and to write regularly, consistently--even under optimal circumstances On the other hand, it sometimes happens that the most difficult circumstances force a writer's best, or at least most effective, work. In short, reading your journey brings to those far, far outside of your life and circle important reflections. Important reflections from a terrific writer!. If a person has lived long at all, he or she (we all) has made some tough "heroic" journeys, and so we definitely relate.
Hey Steve, I know your present relationship with Christian praxis is a little, shall we say, fraught, but have you considered going on pilgrimage? I just got back from the Auriesville pilgrimage. In the little group I was in, we had a number of folks who were there to essentially work through some serious soul-searching. One guy was fresh out of several years in an Irish monastery. I dunno, just seems to me like you would fit right in with a lot of the people there.
Since you mentioned being in Wisconsin, you could consider the Wisconsin Way: https://wisconsinway.com/
As a stranger who responded to your financial appeal and sympathizes with your pain, I would urge you to stay in one place, near your children, and to get a very good lawyer and the best possible mental health care. Don’t travel. True friends will travel to see you. As one who appreciates your writing talent and wishes the best for you, I also would urge you NOT to keep writing and publishing about your personal problems. Please remember the maxim about doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. The outcome that anyone who cares about you should want, including strangers like me who happen to read about your plight, is not to be able to read more installments of serial writing about your personal train wrecks. It is an outcome that benefits your many children and their mother and contributes to their healing and stability even before your own healing and stability. With no disrespect intended against you, it can be inferred that the invisible protagonist of the Heroic Journey is your wife.
I understand where you're coming from here. But my journey, such as it is, won't be long. Maybe a couple weeks.
I need the space too. I shoulder a lot of blame, but things at home haven't been easy for a long while.
Being away has made it possible to breathe for the first time in a long time. The generosity of friends means the only cost I'm incurring is gas (and the used car I traded for is averaging over 26mpg). This trip is a reset so I can get my head on straight, not a vacation or a permanent absence. I've been in a pressure cooker for years. I need time to think. All the friends I've been visiting with who know more of the details than I can or am willing to publish here agree that this is the best thing I could be doing right now.
The biggest obstacle to going back and living close is that I don't know anyone there. I will be alone pretty much all the time. Life in my family home is very busy. I don't even know how often I'll be able to visit, or how welcome I will be when I can. If things follow their current track, it's going to be very awkward.
Nobody is meant to be alone, but as an externalizer (too much chaos inside, need to talk things out in writing or out loud to process - hence the confessional writing style), I am particularly ill-suited to be alone 24/7 with something this heavy. Seeing my kids periodically and having to go back to an empty rented room with no-one to talk to about how that makes me feel is a particular kind of torture I am anticipating with great anxiety.
And as much as I would love for my friends to travel to see me, they all have busy families of their own. I don't think it's very realistic to expect that of them.
My writing will not be a series of installments on "personal train wrecks," either. Almost nobody will want to read that. It will, however, include discoveries I've made along the way.
As for who the protagonist is? We each have our own "hero's journey." She's made a clear delineation about that. I can only write about mine.
Jaxson Dart looked pretty good! Not going to compete with the Birds anytime soon, but nothing like having a rookie QB to give you a little ray of hope!
That might have been the biggest upset of the week, if not Atlanta over Washington.