I sympathize with this. The older I get, the more I am thankful for the situation I grew up in. Perhaps one of the things I will always be grateful for is being able to remember the world without the internet. We didn’t even have a computer in my house until I was almost in high school and I never had access to anything but a dialup modem until I went to college. We did have technology education even as early as elementary school. Oh, how I hated it! I would never have then imagined that I would, as an adult, spend a good amount of time writing computer code for statistical analyses.
I have come to the conclusion that the world prior to the internet was by no means perfect, but it was better than what we have now. I was telling my mom just a few weeks ago that it seems to me that the overall impact of the internet on human society had been a negative one. There are for sure positive uses for the internet. The ability for hospitals to share information and help heal people, or the ability to more efficiently track and distribute goods. But so much of the internet seems to be a waste, or worse. Most social media seems to be just a globalized version of the smoke-filled-room experiment.
It’s hard to tell how much of this is nostalgia. When I talk to my grandfather, he has told me that the worst thing that ever happened to Vermont was the building of the interstate in the 1960s. Before that, it was very difficult to come to Vermont, and so very few people came, and it was better that way. He is probably right. It reminds me of Civilization and Its Discontents. Freud talks about how we so often marvel at technology being able to solve our problems. But, in fact, many if not most of the problems solved by technology are problems that technology itself created. Yes, the train gets me to the city faster, but I wouldn’t need to go to the city at all if the factory were never built. Or, more current, the scheduling app on my phone helps me manage my time, but I wouldn’t be so busy had I never gotten the phone. Freud isn’t completely right here, of course. The factory isn’t just some frivolous institution. The factory makes decent quality clothing available to almost everybody, or charcoal to easily heat my house, or canned food to more easily feed my children, or penicillin to easily cure infections. All things that humans in most of history would have fought wars for. The question is, how can we take the objective goods of technological advancement, without also accepting its pitfalls. And often, it seems like we only recognize the pit once we are already in it.
As for the living situation, you want the comforts of the Shire but the majesty of Gondor. In this life, I don’t think you can have both. My opinion. But, if you are looking for small towns with climbing trees and oceans, you are looking for New England. New Hampshire and Maine are both very nice places to live. So is Vermont, I might add, but we have no oceans.
We met at Villanova when we were 17 in 1979, got engaged at 19, and married in 1982. Our first child was born 9 months later. You’re right about the 80’s, it was a good time to start a family. My husband and I both come from dysfunctional backgrounds, adultery, alcoholism, abuse, and all we wanted was a “Walton’s” style big happy family. We largely achieved it. I feel guilty that my children are denied the opportunity to raise their children in a relatively safe and sane environment. We were pioneer homeschoolers, having these fascinating little people around why wouldn’t we want to keep them at home? We were so very young, 25 with three children under 4, and we still thought we were smarter than everyone else so who better to teach them? My husband was in IT, an explosive field in those days, data processing manager by 24 and our income always managed to keep ahead of our expenses. It was a magical time for us. You are absolutely right that it is a time and not a place for which you are homesick.
I would not have the courage to raise children today. I don’t have the courage to read the news and I cringe when my politically addicted son stops by with something crazy making, poking a hole in my carefully constructed bubble. We are fortunate in that all five of our children are on the same side of the culture wars, and we can all share a meal without a fight breaking out, something relatively rare from what I hear. Unfortunately most have also inherited our ambivalent relationship with the church and are not all practicing Catholics.
I would second the suggestion to consider the East Coast. The Delmarva while as flat as Texas does have trees, the ocean, the Chesapeake bay, and you aren’t far from the mountains. Maryland is beautiful as is Pennsylvania. The Lehigh valley in particular, or Lancaster county are beautiful. The lack of water in the southwest is going to be a major issue in the future and this country doesn’t have the courage to face its real problems. I like living where every time you want to plant something the hole fills up with water. It’s reassuring!
I want to thank you so much for all that you have recently written. We have been through a very stressful relationship with the church for more than 40 years, from pseudo catholic high school and college to the current crisis, and you have helped bring clarity to my thoughts even if there aren’t good answers. Enjoy the magic of a newborn, there is nothing that compares.
First: What a supremely handsome baby that is! Congratulations!
Several passages brought tears to my eyes. You again put into words what I have been thinking about, really for the past 6 years or so, but most intensely in the past year. Sometimes the sense of rootlessness is unbearable and I have to remind myself that no time was perfect and try to take the small graces as they come. But I cannot shake the sense that something has indeed been lost and that, as a civilization, I don’t think we’ll be finding our footing for a while after this technological revolution were living through. Our betters in Washington and Silicon Valley have no intention of slowing it down to make sure humanity can “catch up,” so to speak, so it seems we’re in for wave after wave of technological disruption with no time to adjust as a people or as a culture, unless we’re subject to an exogenous shock of some sort (and careful what you wish for on the exogenous front, too!)
Wow, that’s a lot. Maybe you can start with finding schools you guys like for the kiddos and then build your search based on that. Maybe mid-Atlantic? Mountains in PA, VA, etc but also proximity to the ocean. Winters in Central PA aren’t as bad as upstate NY.
Utah could be nice but you might feel like a fish out of water (and I don’t know how far it is from the coast).
Congratulations on the new addition. He’s beautiful.
I identify with a lot of what you wrote.
Our kids have had zero tablets for a year and a half. When they began to look like Gollum grasping for the ring when I’d take the tablets away, I decided we were completely done. The end of tablet time was especially hard for our five year old son with autism. The poor guy has difficulty enough regulating emotions.
After serious consideration of fleeing the state, we’ve stayed in California. There is so much here that cannot be replicated elsewhere. As far as our governor is concerned, he’s terrible. If I’m watching the news and monitoring our political/social situation, it’s maddening. But how much does all of this affect my daily life if I choose to ignore it? The governor doesn’t sit at our table for dinner. The state is mine as much as it is theirs.
Just before reading your article, I had finished unloading a medium size moving truck by myself. It’s the first of several trips I’ll be making. My entire body hurts, but I’m excited. We got the house and the land that we wanted. After all of the back and forth on leaving California, we decided to stay and I’m at peace with it. I’m giving up my pass-time of bashing the state. I’m only looking at what we are going to build together as a family. I left my mature citrus and avocado trees at the old house, so now it’s time to plant new ones. I’m seizing this opportunity to plant not just trees, but new traditions and attitudes. The world, our nation, and our church are one giant dumpster fire, but I feel more hopeful than ever.
I hope you find where you want to be. I think our state is worth consideration. We took advantage of the increased equity in our home, just as you guys are discussing. We left an area with higher home values than most areas and I’m still in shock over what we got for it.
I’ll be praying for you guys.
(You probably know already, but I’m “DinosaurDerek” on Twitter)
Sarah and I are looking forward to whatever comes our way, be it exploding diapers et al. I am a chronic insomniac anyway, so who cares if I get no sleep for the next twenty years? Bring it on!
We are looking somewhere else just like you. I don't think nostalgia is entirely or even partly the motivator though.
We moved a lot too, both as children and then as adults. Sarah found the place we're at now, which is a beautiful little Victorian on a quiet street. It has a lot going for it, but like your home, it is not a good fit. We have no actual yard or parking at all. The neighbourhood is okay, but the city has no long term future for us or our child.
And like you, we're looking west a lot, to the mountains and forests of British Columbia. I was born there, and I had a lot of experiences you mentioned here. The majority of the population is stuffed into the Lower mainland area near the Washington border, but the majority of the province is sparsely populated even by Montana standards. We've looked at the US a lot as well, and in the same places you have, though this is our home country, warts, weasels and all.
The irony is that, while many of the places you lived at as a child are probably still there, Sarah and I have found that much of our childhood haunts are gone.
In the Lower Mainland area of British Columbia there has been so much explosive "progress" in the last 30 years that the houses I lived in and many of the farms around them have been buried in suburbs and strip malls. Sarah was born in Ontario, but the same thing has happened to many of the places she knew.
Our memories of the past are just that now -- only memories. There are no places to go back to now.
But places like that do exist. I think you are looking for the right things, Steve, you're just squinting your eyes too tight. Ask yourself -- how did those places get made in the first place? Who made them? Why?
I think you'll find that when you get the answers to those questions, a much broader palette of opportunities comes into view.
If for instance, if it was not just the geographical location and the architecture, infrastructure and revenue incomes that provided those memories for you -- if it was the efforts of the people living at that time and in those places where you were growing up -- then you have a better foundation for where to look that will provide those opportunities for you and your family.
And here is another consideration: Why have so many of those places disappeared? How were they destroyed? How have the places that did not fall to "progress" and the mob endure? Are they all thriving, or only some? How are they thriving? Are they building immunity and resistance to the machine of false progress, or are they "committing fornication" with it, to put it bluntly?
When we take these questions into consideration, Sarah and I have found that some places appear very good, but when you look closely, you often find a clannish, pseudo-feudal, closed and moated fiefdom disguised as a suburb or town.
Other times, it has avoided that manifestation, but the community is stifled by ingrained customs and habits that keep it always vulnerable to ghettoization or collapse. Many communities we've looked at are vulnerable because they are tied to a single industry or commercial enterprise, and many are so closely bound to a religion or cult-like organization -- and not always a protestant denomination -- that generalization, diversification and natural organic development in the community are restricted to sometimes extreme degrees.
If you get past all of those, there are still a lot of communities that don't just endure, they are persevering against the worst of the weapons of modernia, and do not deal with technology by fearing it in ignorance, but instead face it head on and deal with every aspect of it on whatever merits or demerits it offers.
Sarah and I are looking for a property with enough arable land for self-sufficiency, the ability to apply one or more business models from it to earn a stable, honest income, and reasonably close to a good community, its resources and its markets. We want access to the sea, and want to look up at the mountains every day. We are Catholics and want to be as close as we can to a TLM community and school if that is possible.
But aside from these financial, economic and geographical considerations, for Sarah and I it boils down to desiring something better and more enduring. That's a problem that nostalgia tries to disguise, not answer.
How long can even the best communities left out there endure? How will they hold together as the greater infrastructure of the region and the nation deteriorate? As a man, can I defend my home against today's dangers? As a Catholic, can I live my faith and defend it there? Will I have to do these things alone? If the community is standing together with me, can we adapt and overcome the many adverse conditions and real perils together? Could I venture to believe, that if I find such a place and and bring my family to live there, that I might grow old honorably and die in peace? Will Sarah and our child be safe and well after I am gone in a loving community? Will we make good enduring friendships? Will our child?
Throughout all of the online blogs, media and resources of the Catholic community, there is a growing sense of expectation. Of what, I can't say, though I feel it too, sometimes. But more and more, I see a longing for something. Oh, I can see quite plainly that everybody is fed up with the state of things today, and with the people responsible who keep getting away with ever more offenses and outrages.
I know its not all just morbid thinking and the temptation to despair either.
Without any apparent leadership, or structured thought, and despite all the reasons in the world to the contrary it seems that a lot of people feel like this darkness is not capable of enduring, and that something is coming that is going to change it all.
To that end, however vague, people are talking a lot about what you covered here, and about doing the things you want to do, and everybody wants to get going and do something to move towards that as a goal.
The question Sarah and I are asking, after all of those other things is this: Are we missing something here? Why do all of us seem to keep running into one wall or another? What are we not seeing?
So glad to hear of your joy with Eli and interested to hear where you go next. Having moved from Phoenix to Northern Utah roughly a year ago, I feel compelled to give a shoutout. The mountains are always even more beautiful than you imagine they'll be, and the dominant culture in uniquely family oriented and life affirming. The downside, other than being far from the ocean- would a massive saline lake with its own population of seagulls do the trick instead? ;) -is that this culture is entirely sustained by the LDS church. It stands or falls with them, and the state's Catholic organization is almost negligible if you live anywhere outside the SLC area. And outside SLC/Provo is nicer.
(Though, if you could find the money to move somewhere Park City ways, I believe that parish offers the only Sunday TLM in the state.)
Have you ever thought about Tennessee, specifically East Tennessee? We have the Smoky Mountains, we’re about 5 hours from the South Carolina coast, beautiful lakes, temperate weather, no state income tax, moderate housing prices, a still strong religious culture (albeit evangelical Protestant, it still invigorates the small Catholic population), and friendly people. The beauty of East Tennessee in the spring when the dogwoods burst into life, and in the fall when the leaves are ablaze with color, is simply breathtaking. We’d love to welcome you!
I've lived in California my whole life. It's important not to equate "California" with "Los Angeles, San Diego, and San Francisco!" In fact most of California is rural, and an awful lot of it is agricultural. We moved away from the Bay Area to the foothills of the Sierras. I love it here. It's maybe a little isolated here for you, but this is just one place of many. Unless you like big cities (which I don't) most of California lies open to you, with very reasonable home prices and great quality of life. Look at the far northern coast country, or the (many) mountain areas, or even the Central Valley if you like agricultural areas. There is something healing about vast stretches of walnut trees and huge tracts of corn. Anyway, think about it.
Hi Steve, it's Mat Low. I've checked in a couple of times here and over at 1P5 to see how you're doing. Not unlike Jordan Peterson, you appear to be coming through the storm rather well all things considered. Blessings on you and your lovely family.
There is indeed an awakening happening everywhere. Expressed banally as a socially collective "Enough is Enough!"
However, spiritually speaking, an inner moral compass [it seems] has been buried deep inside every one of us, or outside of us, having originated probably from a benevolent place. We communicate this as God. So, inasmuch as the evil one has hold of you/us, especially in the way of doubt, despair and corruption - we also have the same facility of control over ourselves [if not more than the evil one] because of 'morality'.
We are all unquestionably tripped up in the presence of wrongdoing and evil by this morality meter. For instance, why does a criminal always leave evidence of his wrongdoing... whether early in the crime or later on? This is a phenomena that has criminologists laughing all the way to the bank.
The rising spiritual and now intellectual and emotional discontent and discussion is hopefully tempered with a measure of clarity and mutual respect but also a further more simplified investigation into Our Lord's essential message is critical to a successful result. "No greater love has a man than one who gives his life for another."
I believe this to be an inarguable mantra for life running through the centuries post Jesus, one that has been ignored at our peril. For if we fully comprehended the message with childlike inquisition we would see Jesus is calling US to give OUR lives for him - despite a small 'God is Invisible' issue we have to contend with.
The day we come to terms with this deep inner urge [inner sense of calling], despite our insistent vanity and inclination towards evil, we must understand that Our Lord implies a sense of trust in all of us, that he believes we are capable of giving ourselves fully over to him... otherwise why tell us at all? Now we may ask, "Have we not given enough already?! I have worked in the fields for soooo damn long already!!!"
But then GIVING ourselves is not just about time, energy and remuneration for effort. God is thrilled about this outward pouring of loyalty. But if this 'Castle-Of-Efforts-Given' was to fall what would be left amidst the carnage, but our hearts. For when we have no heart, we have no life.
Our HEART is the throne of our life. Of justice and fairness in us. It is the throne of mercy, kindness, patience and forgiveness. It is the birthplace of unconditional giving and the source of never-ending tears cleansing us from that which is unnecessary.
There are a number of biblical texts attesting to God's preference for what's inside of each of us as opposed to what's on the outside. Our heart is the foundation stone of all things we trust and are ready to sacrifice willingly in the absence of reward and physical safety.
God, through Our Lord, has been asking this of us 'forever'.
I am consoled mankind has been curiosity-bound to seek the truth whether spiritually or scientifically, for now I know it cannot be avoided from either highway. All roads will lead to that heavenly ring-road from which all roads started. I could not see this until within the last month.
A month ago today I couldn't type this stuff. I wasn't capable of it. God decides when he wants to take up the offer of your heart [life] and it's often dramatic, destabilising and debilitating for want of a better expression, when he does. Paradoxically soothing and uplifting - contradiction being another reality we contend with. Look, if you're not prepared to suffer you're not prepared to follow.
The TRUTH... Our Lord... is that 'Pot of Gold' at the end of our subconscious rainbow drawing us inexorably toward Him, regardless of who we are. It actually takes a full-blown 'anti-socialist' to ignore it - described today as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Wow!!! I've been that guy umpteen millions of times. But I do keep getting up whenever I'm spiritually knocked down for some masochistic reason.
So I believe God's message is for those who ask Him to give them enough grace to get back up. And beyond that, that maybe he can help us hand over our hearts to his son [with much less reluctance and] with unmitigated willingness. This request from God is for our good, not His, he doesn't need it - He is Good.
Is it simply, then, because we haven't given ourselves over [our hearts, our vital core being] to God FREELY AND FULLY that we are Fearful? Inconsistent? Untrusting? Despairing? I don't find it much of an intellectual leap to say yes. God is the good inside and out of us. It seems perversely odd that we as 'intelligent' creatures voluntarily resist our essential source of sustenance and well-being.
Our Lord's call is not a public one. He calls us privately to personal herosim, and in that he encourages us to hand our heart's reins over to him to take care of things. It is a rather nasty child that refuses the help of a kind and loving father/mother or brother/sister - friend.
Naturally though, we are often met with tremendous sadness and adversity in life. We question the meaning of this suffering... not realising our tears and 'expulsion' is highly effective in removing the spiritually and mentally extraneous in our lives. Ask Mary Magdalene. It is true God cannot be outdone in generosity, and it has always been true that he loves each and every one of dearly, despite our own take on life.
Give over your bastion of trust, hope and love, your bastion of strength and tears - without reserve, to Our Lord, and he will take your heart away to help in the battle for souls - and in return he promises He will lift you up! Now that's gotta be good news :)
All the best Steve, may your journey be long and arduous!!! Hahah!!!
Thanks for this opportunity.
May God's blessings come down and rest upon us and our loved ones, and be with us poor sinners now and ever more. Amen. Catch yas.
The town where I grew up still seems very much like it was back then. It’s affordable, great public schools, beautiful parish church (though not TLM). Have a look: LaPorte Texas. Look at areas shoreacres, shady river, Morgan’s point nearby. Not fairmont park.
I sympathize with this. The older I get, the more I am thankful for the situation I grew up in. Perhaps one of the things I will always be grateful for is being able to remember the world without the internet. We didn’t even have a computer in my house until I was almost in high school and I never had access to anything but a dialup modem until I went to college. We did have technology education even as early as elementary school. Oh, how I hated it! I would never have then imagined that I would, as an adult, spend a good amount of time writing computer code for statistical analyses.
I have come to the conclusion that the world prior to the internet was by no means perfect, but it was better than what we have now. I was telling my mom just a few weeks ago that it seems to me that the overall impact of the internet on human society had been a negative one. There are for sure positive uses for the internet. The ability for hospitals to share information and help heal people, or the ability to more efficiently track and distribute goods. But so much of the internet seems to be a waste, or worse. Most social media seems to be just a globalized version of the smoke-filled-room experiment.
It’s hard to tell how much of this is nostalgia. When I talk to my grandfather, he has told me that the worst thing that ever happened to Vermont was the building of the interstate in the 1960s. Before that, it was very difficult to come to Vermont, and so very few people came, and it was better that way. He is probably right. It reminds me of Civilization and Its Discontents. Freud talks about how we so often marvel at technology being able to solve our problems. But, in fact, many if not most of the problems solved by technology are problems that technology itself created. Yes, the train gets me to the city faster, but I wouldn’t need to go to the city at all if the factory were never built. Or, more current, the scheduling app on my phone helps me manage my time, but I wouldn’t be so busy had I never gotten the phone. Freud isn’t completely right here, of course. The factory isn’t just some frivolous institution. The factory makes decent quality clothing available to almost everybody, or charcoal to easily heat my house, or canned food to more easily feed my children, or penicillin to easily cure infections. All things that humans in most of history would have fought wars for. The question is, how can we take the objective goods of technological advancement, without also accepting its pitfalls. And often, it seems like we only recognize the pit once we are already in it.
As for the living situation, you want the comforts of the Shire but the majesty of Gondor. In this life, I don’t think you can have both. My opinion. But, if you are looking for small towns with climbing trees and oceans, you are looking for New England. New Hampshire and Maine are both very nice places to live. So is Vermont, I might add, but we have no oceans.
This is beautiful. I just love your heart.
We met at Villanova when we were 17 in 1979, got engaged at 19, and married in 1982. Our first child was born 9 months later. You’re right about the 80’s, it was a good time to start a family. My husband and I both come from dysfunctional backgrounds, adultery, alcoholism, abuse, and all we wanted was a “Walton’s” style big happy family. We largely achieved it. I feel guilty that my children are denied the opportunity to raise their children in a relatively safe and sane environment. We were pioneer homeschoolers, having these fascinating little people around why wouldn’t we want to keep them at home? We were so very young, 25 with three children under 4, and we still thought we were smarter than everyone else so who better to teach them? My husband was in IT, an explosive field in those days, data processing manager by 24 and our income always managed to keep ahead of our expenses. It was a magical time for us. You are absolutely right that it is a time and not a place for which you are homesick.
I would not have the courage to raise children today. I don’t have the courage to read the news and I cringe when my politically addicted son stops by with something crazy making, poking a hole in my carefully constructed bubble. We are fortunate in that all five of our children are on the same side of the culture wars, and we can all share a meal without a fight breaking out, something relatively rare from what I hear. Unfortunately most have also inherited our ambivalent relationship with the church and are not all practicing Catholics.
I would second the suggestion to consider the East Coast. The Delmarva while as flat as Texas does have trees, the ocean, the Chesapeake bay, and you aren’t far from the mountains. Maryland is beautiful as is Pennsylvania. The Lehigh valley in particular, or Lancaster county are beautiful. The lack of water in the southwest is going to be a major issue in the future and this country doesn’t have the courage to face its real problems. I like living where every time you want to plant something the hole fills up with water. It’s reassuring!
I want to thank you so much for all that you have recently written. We have been through a very stressful relationship with the church for more than 40 years, from pseudo catholic high school and college to the current crisis, and you have helped bring clarity to my thoughts even if there aren’t good answers. Enjoy the magic of a newborn, there is nothing that compares.
First: What a supremely handsome baby that is! Congratulations!
Several passages brought tears to my eyes. You again put into words what I have been thinking about, really for the past 6 years or so, but most intensely in the past year. Sometimes the sense of rootlessness is unbearable and I have to remind myself that no time was perfect and try to take the small graces as they come. But I cannot shake the sense that something has indeed been lost and that, as a civilization, I don’t think we’ll be finding our footing for a while after this technological revolution were living through. Our betters in Washington and Silicon Valley have no intention of slowing it down to make sure humanity can “catch up,” so to speak, so it seems we’re in for wave after wave of technological disruption with no time to adjust as a people or as a culture, unless we’re subject to an exogenous shock of some sort (and careful what you wish for on the exogenous front, too!)
Wow, that’s a lot. Maybe you can start with finding schools you guys like for the kiddos and then build your search based on that. Maybe mid-Atlantic? Mountains in PA, VA, etc but also proximity to the ocean. Winters in Central PA aren’t as bad as upstate NY.
Utah could be nice but you might feel like a fish out of water (and I don’t know how far it is from the coast).
Congratulations on the new addition. He’s beautiful.
I identify with a lot of what you wrote.
Our kids have had zero tablets for a year and a half. When they began to look like Gollum grasping for the ring when I’d take the tablets away, I decided we were completely done. The end of tablet time was especially hard for our five year old son with autism. The poor guy has difficulty enough regulating emotions.
After serious consideration of fleeing the state, we’ve stayed in California. There is so much here that cannot be replicated elsewhere. As far as our governor is concerned, he’s terrible. If I’m watching the news and monitoring our political/social situation, it’s maddening. But how much does all of this affect my daily life if I choose to ignore it? The governor doesn’t sit at our table for dinner. The state is mine as much as it is theirs.
Just before reading your article, I had finished unloading a medium size moving truck by myself. It’s the first of several trips I’ll be making. My entire body hurts, but I’m excited. We got the house and the land that we wanted. After all of the back and forth on leaving California, we decided to stay and I’m at peace with it. I’m giving up my pass-time of bashing the state. I’m only looking at what we are going to build together as a family. I left my mature citrus and avocado trees at the old house, so now it’s time to plant new ones. I’m seizing this opportunity to plant not just trees, but new traditions and attitudes. The world, our nation, and our church are one giant dumpster fire, but I feel more hopeful than ever.
I hope you find where you want to be. I think our state is worth consideration. We took advantage of the increased equity in our home, just as you guys are discussing. We left an area with higher home values than most areas and I’m still in shock over what we got for it.
I’ll be praying for you guys.
(You probably know already, but I’m “DinosaurDerek” on Twitter)
That little fella is so darn cute!
Sarah and I are looking forward to whatever comes our way, be it exploding diapers et al. I am a chronic insomniac anyway, so who cares if I get no sleep for the next twenty years? Bring it on!
We are looking somewhere else just like you. I don't think nostalgia is entirely or even partly the motivator though.
We moved a lot too, both as children and then as adults. Sarah found the place we're at now, which is a beautiful little Victorian on a quiet street. It has a lot going for it, but like your home, it is not a good fit. We have no actual yard or parking at all. The neighbourhood is okay, but the city has no long term future for us or our child.
And like you, we're looking west a lot, to the mountains and forests of British Columbia. I was born there, and I had a lot of experiences you mentioned here. The majority of the population is stuffed into the Lower mainland area near the Washington border, but the majority of the province is sparsely populated even by Montana standards. We've looked at the US a lot as well, and in the same places you have, though this is our home country, warts, weasels and all.
The irony is that, while many of the places you lived at as a child are probably still there, Sarah and I have found that much of our childhood haunts are gone.
In the Lower Mainland area of British Columbia there has been so much explosive "progress" in the last 30 years that the houses I lived in and many of the farms around them have been buried in suburbs and strip malls. Sarah was born in Ontario, but the same thing has happened to many of the places she knew.
Our memories of the past are just that now -- only memories. There are no places to go back to now.
But places like that do exist. I think you are looking for the right things, Steve, you're just squinting your eyes too tight. Ask yourself -- how did those places get made in the first place? Who made them? Why?
I think you'll find that when you get the answers to those questions, a much broader palette of opportunities comes into view.
If for instance, if it was not just the geographical location and the architecture, infrastructure and revenue incomes that provided those memories for you -- if it was the efforts of the people living at that time and in those places where you were growing up -- then you have a better foundation for where to look that will provide those opportunities for you and your family.
And here is another consideration: Why have so many of those places disappeared? How were they destroyed? How have the places that did not fall to "progress" and the mob endure? Are they all thriving, or only some? How are they thriving? Are they building immunity and resistance to the machine of false progress, or are they "committing fornication" with it, to put it bluntly?
When we take these questions into consideration, Sarah and I have found that some places appear very good, but when you look closely, you often find a clannish, pseudo-feudal, closed and moated fiefdom disguised as a suburb or town.
Other times, it has avoided that manifestation, but the community is stifled by ingrained customs and habits that keep it always vulnerable to ghettoization or collapse. Many communities we've looked at are vulnerable because they are tied to a single industry or commercial enterprise, and many are so closely bound to a religion or cult-like organization -- and not always a protestant denomination -- that generalization, diversification and natural organic development in the community are restricted to sometimes extreme degrees.
If you get past all of those, there are still a lot of communities that don't just endure, they are persevering against the worst of the weapons of modernia, and do not deal with technology by fearing it in ignorance, but instead face it head on and deal with every aspect of it on whatever merits or demerits it offers.
Sarah and I are looking for a property with enough arable land for self-sufficiency, the ability to apply one or more business models from it to earn a stable, honest income, and reasonably close to a good community, its resources and its markets. We want access to the sea, and want to look up at the mountains every day. We are Catholics and want to be as close as we can to a TLM community and school if that is possible.
But aside from these financial, economic and geographical considerations, for Sarah and I it boils down to desiring something better and more enduring. That's a problem that nostalgia tries to disguise, not answer.
How long can even the best communities left out there endure? How will they hold together as the greater infrastructure of the region and the nation deteriorate? As a man, can I defend my home against today's dangers? As a Catholic, can I live my faith and defend it there? Will I have to do these things alone? If the community is standing together with me, can we adapt and overcome the many adverse conditions and real perils together? Could I venture to believe, that if I find such a place and and bring my family to live there, that I might grow old honorably and die in peace? Will Sarah and our child be safe and well after I am gone in a loving community? Will we make good enduring friendships? Will our child?
Throughout all of the online blogs, media and resources of the Catholic community, there is a growing sense of expectation. Of what, I can't say, though I feel it too, sometimes. But more and more, I see a longing for something. Oh, I can see quite plainly that everybody is fed up with the state of things today, and with the people responsible who keep getting away with ever more offenses and outrages.
I know its not all just morbid thinking and the temptation to despair either.
Without any apparent leadership, or structured thought, and despite all the reasons in the world to the contrary it seems that a lot of people feel like this darkness is not capable of enduring, and that something is coming that is going to change it all.
To that end, however vague, people are talking a lot about what you covered here, and about doing the things you want to do, and everybody wants to get going and do something to move towards that as a goal.
The question Sarah and I are asking, after all of those other things is this: Are we missing something here? Why do all of us seem to keep running into one wall or another? What are we not seeing?
So glad to hear of your joy with Eli and interested to hear where you go next. Having moved from Phoenix to Northern Utah roughly a year ago, I feel compelled to give a shoutout. The mountains are always even more beautiful than you imagine they'll be, and the dominant culture in uniquely family oriented and life affirming. The downside, other than being far from the ocean- would a massive saline lake with its own population of seagulls do the trick instead? ;) -is that this culture is entirely sustained by the LDS church. It stands or falls with them, and the state's Catholic organization is almost negligible if you live anywhere outside the SLC area. And outside SLC/Provo is nicer.
(Though, if you could find the money to move somewhere Park City ways, I believe that parish offers the only Sunday TLM in the state.)
Have you ever thought about Tennessee, specifically East Tennessee? We have the Smoky Mountains, we’re about 5 hours from the South Carolina coast, beautiful lakes, temperate weather, no state income tax, moderate housing prices, a still strong religious culture (albeit evangelical Protestant, it still invigorates the small Catholic population), and friendly people. The beauty of East Tennessee in the spring when the dogwoods burst into life, and in the fall when the leaves are ablaze with color, is simply breathtaking. We’d love to welcome you!
I've lived in California my whole life. It's important not to equate "California" with "Los Angeles, San Diego, and San Francisco!" In fact most of California is rural, and an awful lot of it is agricultural. We moved away from the Bay Area to the foothills of the Sierras. I love it here. It's maybe a little isolated here for you, but this is just one place of many. Unless you like big cities (which I don't) most of California lies open to you, with very reasonable home prices and great quality of life. Look at the far northern coast country, or the (many) mountain areas, or even the Central Valley if you like agricultural areas. There is something healing about vast stretches of walnut trees and huge tracts of corn. Anyway, think about it.
The baby looks strikingly like his father.
Hi Steve, it's Mat Low. I've checked in a couple of times here and over at 1P5 to see how you're doing. Not unlike Jordan Peterson, you appear to be coming through the storm rather well all things considered. Blessings on you and your lovely family.
There is indeed an awakening happening everywhere. Expressed banally as a socially collective "Enough is Enough!"
However, spiritually speaking, an inner moral compass [it seems] has been buried deep inside every one of us, or outside of us, having originated probably from a benevolent place. We communicate this as God. So, inasmuch as the evil one has hold of you/us, especially in the way of doubt, despair and corruption - we also have the same facility of control over ourselves [if not more than the evil one] because of 'morality'.
We are all unquestionably tripped up in the presence of wrongdoing and evil by this morality meter. For instance, why does a criminal always leave evidence of his wrongdoing... whether early in the crime or later on? This is a phenomena that has criminologists laughing all the way to the bank.
The rising spiritual and now intellectual and emotional discontent and discussion is hopefully tempered with a measure of clarity and mutual respect but also a further more simplified investigation into Our Lord's essential message is critical to a successful result. "No greater love has a man than one who gives his life for another."
I believe this to be an inarguable mantra for life running through the centuries post Jesus, one that has been ignored at our peril. For if we fully comprehended the message with childlike inquisition we would see Jesus is calling US to give OUR lives for him - despite a small 'God is Invisible' issue we have to contend with.
The day we come to terms with this deep inner urge [inner sense of calling], despite our insistent vanity and inclination towards evil, we must understand that Our Lord implies a sense of trust in all of us, that he believes we are capable of giving ourselves fully over to him... otherwise why tell us at all? Now we may ask, "Have we not given enough already?! I have worked in the fields for soooo damn long already!!!"
But then GIVING ourselves is not just about time, energy and remuneration for effort. God is thrilled about this outward pouring of loyalty. But if this 'Castle-Of-Efforts-Given' was to fall what would be left amidst the carnage, but our hearts. For when we have no heart, we have no life.
Our HEART is the throne of our life. Of justice and fairness in us. It is the throne of mercy, kindness, patience and forgiveness. It is the birthplace of unconditional giving and the source of never-ending tears cleansing us from that which is unnecessary.
There are a number of biblical texts attesting to God's preference for what's inside of each of us as opposed to what's on the outside. Our heart is the foundation stone of all things we trust and are ready to sacrifice willingly in the absence of reward and physical safety.
God, through Our Lord, has been asking this of us 'forever'.
I am consoled mankind has been curiosity-bound to seek the truth whether spiritually or scientifically, for now I know it cannot be avoided from either highway. All roads will lead to that heavenly ring-road from which all roads started. I could not see this until within the last month.
A month ago today I couldn't type this stuff. I wasn't capable of it. God decides when he wants to take up the offer of your heart [life] and it's often dramatic, destabilising and debilitating for want of a better expression, when he does. Paradoxically soothing and uplifting - contradiction being another reality we contend with. Look, if you're not prepared to suffer you're not prepared to follow.
The TRUTH... Our Lord... is that 'Pot of Gold' at the end of our subconscious rainbow drawing us inexorably toward Him, regardless of who we are. It actually takes a full-blown 'anti-socialist' to ignore it - described today as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Wow!!! I've been that guy umpteen millions of times. But I do keep getting up whenever I'm spiritually knocked down for some masochistic reason.
So I believe God's message is for those who ask Him to give them enough grace to get back up. And beyond that, that maybe he can help us hand over our hearts to his son [with much less reluctance and] with unmitigated willingness. This request from God is for our good, not His, he doesn't need it - He is Good.
Is it simply, then, because we haven't given ourselves over [our hearts, our vital core being] to God FREELY AND FULLY that we are Fearful? Inconsistent? Untrusting? Despairing? I don't find it much of an intellectual leap to say yes. God is the good inside and out of us. It seems perversely odd that we as 'intelligent' creatures voluntarily resist our essential source of sustenance and well-being.
Our Lord's call is not a public one. He calls us privately to personal herosim, and in that he encourages us to hand our heart's reins over to him to take care of things. It is a rather nasty child that refuses the help of a kind and loving father/mother or brother/sister - friend.
Naturally though, we are often met with tremendous sadness and adversity in life. We question the meaning of this suffering... not realising our tears and 'expulsion' is highly effective in removing the spiritually and mentally extraneous in our lives. Ask Mary Magdalene. It is true God cannot be outdone in generosity, and it has always been true that he loves each and every one of dearly, despite our own take on life.
Give over your bastion of trust, hope and love, your bastion of strength and tears - without reserve, to Our Lord, and he will take your heart away to help in the battle for souls - and in return he promises He will lift you up! Now that's gotta be good news :)
All the best Steve, may your journey be long and arduous!!! Hahah!!!
Thanks for this opportunity.
May God's blessings come down and rest upon us and our loved ones, and be with us poor sinners now and ever more. Amen. Catch yas.
The town where I grew up still seems very much like it was back then. It’s affordable, great public schools, beautiful parish church (though not TLM). Have a look: LaPorte Texas. Look at areas shoreacres, shady river, Morgan’s point nearby. Not fairmont park.