Late night now, I started reading, then scrolling, then blurring, then: "hee haw hee haw"!! I could hear those floorboard creaking - finished reading and then went back to the beginning to begin again. Excellent!!
Here's what I put at the top of the Substack post:
I wanted to write a short sci-fi story and came up with an idea. I sketched a rough outline and had Claude write the story. I didn’t like its version, so I edited it. And edited it more. Until every part was changed. Along the way, I ask Claude to provide some technical details – and then I replaced them or rewrote them. In the end, I asked it to make some mild edits of the wording, and I kept the ones I liked.
Thus, I said I wrote it in collaboration with Claude. The story is about a guy who uses AI to write his Substack posts - and how nobody will read them until he stops telling people that's what he's doing.
I was waiting for a follow up on what you meant by your story. FWIW, here are the issues I found with it:
- "Next round of checks in 20 minutes. Twice every hour." This should have been "30" minutes.
- Babe Ruth career homes runs is 714, not 699.
- Why are the military satellites important? I thought at first that they had survived the "Carrington" event, but then the "orbital" security bots show up so it seems unnecessary.
- Why would military satellites broadcast out into space and not up/down from Earth?
- Why are humans needed to baby sit them? It looks like they serve only as bait to lure the NHI. But that seems pretty weak. Earth broadcasts would lure them.
- If the experiment is important, why is it so neglected?
- The story makes it seem easy for the elites to leave Earth, but it's quite hard to manufacture everything in space. They would still need lots of access to Earth for quite a while.
- It seems the Carrington Erasure event is significant, but there's very little indication of what it erased. Why wouldn't it have erased the orbital colonies more than Earth?
- How do the satellites gain access to Danny's conversation with his mother from years ago? No clue.
- Why that conversation? Why doesn't Grady have a conversation captured?
- The other broadcasts make sense from old Earth radio waves sent out in space, so the conversation with Danny's mom is an anomaly. Even if the NHI can capture that conversation, how do they get the ground station to reply back as little Danny? Are they effectively gods?
- How is the security team able to arrive so quickly? Why do they even care?
- Why to they terminate Danny and Grady? What's the point of doing that?
I know what it's like to write a sci-fi short story that has lots of holes in it. If you care to see my example, check out:
Those things you called out weren't errors. I am exceptionally thorough.
Next round of checks in 20 minutes, twice every hour, means some time has elapsed since the last check. If you checked at 9:30, and it's now 9:40, you have another check in 20 minutes.
Babe Ruth's career home runs doesn't matter. At all. I literally quoted an actual broadcast of a baseball game, where the announcers were talking about his record, where it stood, that day.
It's short fiction. The interpretation on the significance of the satellites is left open for a reason. The writing prompt I got only specified that this was the job, not why the job was happening. I didn't care. It wasn't about that.
Humans babysit them because in the system that was set up, that was what was required. Arguably because yes, they were the bait. Because the system, once it received the signal it was waiting for, began harvesting their memories and experiences. Again, I left it to mystery.
AI datacenters are moving to space in the next 30-36 months. Moon bases are being built. We are going to start manufacturing things in space.
Dude, why are you running this thing through an autism filter? It's a STORY. It was practice. I haven't written a piece of fiction in a long time.
Oh, I missed those first two points entirely. Now I see.
I always thought the point with sci-fi was to do something more than just a story. I guess I was assuming your story was hard sci-fi. So I was trying to figure out what you meant by it. You know, the deeper meaning. It's what I've always done. I never thought of it as an "autism filter".
I did like how skilled you were at the prose, and thought you did an excellent job.
I just wanted to know what it meant. I guess nothing. Is that what you wanted?
It's just an exercise in honing the craft, Dean. Can I make compelling characters? Can I describe the scene well? Is the dialogue believable? Does the story make me curious enough to want to continue?
Writing is about all those things, and more. It's why I don't like to use AI to do any of my writing for me. I don't even like it to give me ideas I don't ask for, because then I'm not sure what's mine. I don't mind feedback off of brainstorming that I generate, and I like it when it keeps track of ideas while I'm driving or something so I don't have to. But I don't like to let it alter my creative vision.
As for sci-fi, a lot of it is really about mystery. It leaves you in the dark about what's really going on. I'm particularly fond of high strangeness stories, where something is weird, and we get some sense of the shape of it, but not the full idea as to why. Jeff Vandermeer's Southern Reach Trilogy comes to mind. As does Roadside Picnic, by the Strugatsky brothers, or Solaris by Stanislav Lem.
Hard sci-fi only works with known physics, chemistry, laws of nature, etc. Think "The Martian." That's fine and all, but it gets boring when you can't get into speculative territory, which is (to me anyway) what makes sci-fi fun in the first place.
Right. I was taking the intent of the story differently. I understand now what you were doing.
Whenever I ask AI to write a story, I've always been disappointed in what it comes up with. So I either give it the full details and just have it flush out the prose, or I give it a start and edit what it gives me - a lot.
Partly because I'm not a real writer, I don't focus on making compelling characters or describing scenes. Often, I don't even care about those aspects much. I care about the story and the deeper meanings that the story is conveying.
When I do care about a scene, it's more from how I would want it filmed in a movie. I guess I was more touched by movies than books.
Daniel/Danny, Grady, and O'Malley are priests. What's left of their order. They've been tending machinery built before their time, going through motions, pinging the heavens, but never expecting a reply. Until finally, NHI arrives, having heard our broadcasts sent out so long ago.
The institution was never set up to hear from God. It was set up to hear from them. And once they've heard... the priests are no longer needed.
But will NHI coming "for you all" be good, or not? We aren't told.
The vigil these priests endured — and the answers they hungered for — comes through as something deeply personal. That's what makes it exceptional. Well done, Steve. Claude compliments you as well.
You’re a damn good writer Steve. I was locked in.
Thanks, Bob!
Late night now, I started reading, then scrolling, then blurring, then: "hee haw hee haw"!! I could hear those floorboard creaking - finished reading and then went back to the beginning to begin again. Excellent!!
Thank you!
I love the way you set the scene Steve. Reminds me of my experience working out of a mining camp. Solitude in routine.
Thank you!
Whoops! Meant to schedule this for tomorrow. Oh well, it's out now.
I wrote another short sci-fi story - about AI being used to push engagement on Substack. Here it is, if interested: https://ontheedgeofreality.substack.com/p/the-dave-show
Did you write it, or did Claude write it?
Here's what I put at the top of the Substack post:
I wanted to write a short sci-fi story and came up with an idea. I sketched a rough outline and had Claude write the story. I didn’t like its version, so I edited it. And edited it more. Until every part was changed. Along the way, I ask Claude to provide some technical details – and then I replaced them or rewrote them. In the end, I asked it to make some mild edits of the wording, and I kept the ones I liked.
Thus, I said I wrote it in collaboration with Claude. The story is about a guy who uses AI to write his Substack posts - and how nobody will read them until he stops telling people that's what he's doing.
I was waiting for a follow up on what you meant by your story. FWIW, here are the issues I found with it:
- "Next round of checks in 20 minutes. Twice every hour." This should have been "30" minutes.
- Babe Ruth career homes runs is 714, not 699.
- Why are the military satellites important? I thought at first that they had survived the "Carrington" event, but then the "orbital" security bots show up so it seems unnecessary.
- Why would military satellites broadcast out into space and not up/down from Earth?
- Why are humans needed to baby sit them? It looks like they serve only as bait to lure the NHI. But that seems pretty weak. Earth broadcasts would lure them.
- If the experiment is important, why is it so neglected?
- The story makes it seem easy for the elites to leave Earth, but it's quite hard to manufacture everything in space. They would still need lots of access to Earth for quite a while.
- It seems the Carrington Erasure event is significant, but there's very little indication of what it erased. Why wouldn't it have erased the orbital colonies more than Earth?
- How do the satellites gain access to Danny's conversation with his mother from years ago? No clue.
- Why that conversation? Why doesn't Grady have a conversation captured?
- The other broadcasts make sense from old Earth radio waves sent out in space, so the conversation with Danny's mom is an anomaly. Even if the NHI can capture that conversation, how do they get the ground station to reply back as little Danny? Are they effectively gods?
- How is the security team able to arrive so quickly? Why do they even care?
- Why to they terminate Danny and Grady? What's the point of doing that?
I know what it's like to write a sci-fi short story that has lots of holes in it. If you care to see my example, check out:
https://ontheedgeofreality.substack.com/p/the-fifth-messenger
It has an enigmatic ending as well.
Those things you called out weren't errors. I am exceptionally thorough.
Next round of checks in 20 minutes, twice every hour, means some time has elapsed since the last check. If you checked at 9:30, and it's now 9:40, you have another check in 20 minutes.
Babe Ruth's career home runs doesn't matter. At all. I literally quoted an actual broadcast of a baseball game, where the announcers were talking about his record, where it stood, that day.
It's short fiction. The interpretation on the significance of the satellites is left open for a reason. The writing prompt I got only specified that this was the job, not why the job was happening. I didn't care. It wasn't about that.
Humans babysit them because in the system that was set up, that was what was required. Arguably because yes, they were the bait. Because the system, once it received the signal it was waiting for, began harvesting their memories and experiences. Again, I left it to mystery.
AI datacenters are moving to space in the next 30-36 months. Moon bases are being built. We are going to start manufacturing things in space.
Dude, why are you running this thing through an autism filter? It's a STORY. It was practice. I haven't written a piece of fiction in a long time.
Oh, I missed those first two points entirely. Now I see.
I always thought the point with sci-fi was to do something more than just a story. I guess I was assuming your story was hard sci-fi. So I was trying to figure out what you meant by it. You know, the deeper meaning. It's what I've always done. I never thought of it as an "autism filter".
I did like how skilled you were at the prose, and thought you did an excellent job.
I just wanted to know what it meant. I guess nothing. Is that what you wanted?
It's just an exercise in honing the craft, Dean. Can I make compelling characters? Can I describe the scene well? Is the dialogue believable? Does the story make me curious enough to want to continue?
Writing is about all those things, and more. It's why I don't like to use AI to do any of my writing for me. I don't even like it to give me ideas I don't ask for, because then I'm not sure what's mine. I don't mind feedback off of brainstorming that I generate, and I like it when it keeps track of ideas while I'm driving or something so I don't have to. But I don't like to let it alter my creative vision.
As for sci-fi, a lot of it is really about mystery. It leaves you in the dark about what's really going on. I'm particularly fond of high strangeness stories, where something is weird, and we get some sense of the shape of it, but not the full idea as to why. Jeff Vandermeer's Southern Reach Trilogy comes to mind. As does Roadside Picnic, by the Strugatsky brothers, or Solaris by Stanislav Lem.
Hard sci-fi only works with known physics, chemistry, laws of nature, etc. Think "The Martian." That's fine and all, but it gets boring when you can't get into speculative territory, which is (to me anyway) what makes sci-fi fun in the first place.
Right. I was taking the intent of the story differently. I understand now what you were doing.
Whenever I ask AI to write a story, I've always been disappointed in what it comes up with. So I either give it the full details and just have it flush out the prose, or I give it a start and edit what it gives me - a lot.
Partly because I'm not a real writer, I don't focus on making compelling characters or describing scenes. Often, I don't even care about those aspects much. I care about the story and the deeper meanings that the story is conveying.
When I do care about a scene, it's more from how I would want it filmed in a movie. I guess I was more touched by movies than books.
Daniel/Danny, Grady, and O'Malley are priests. What's left of their order. They've been tending machinery built before their time, going through motions, pinging the heavens, but never expecting a reply. Until finally, NHI arrives, having heard our broadcasts sent out so long ago.
The institution was never set up to hear from God. It was set up to hear from them. And once they've heard... the priests are no longer needed.
But will NHI coming "for you all" be good, or not? We aren't told.
The vigil these priests endured — and the answers they hungered for — comes through as something deeply personal. That's what makes it exceptional. Well done, Steve. Claude compliments you as well.