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Jeannie's avatar

This may be one of the more timely and important things you've written. I enjoy everything you write. But this needed to said. And you said it beautifully. This should be talked about more widely. Thank you for starting the conversation.

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Lana's avatar

Steve, you so often state what is in my heart but in ways I can never express as well as you. I know the damage I did to my kids who thankfully are still in their early twenties and we have cried together and I sincerely apologized to each of them not listening…for trying to make them be holy … and why? To please my family. Two of my three daughters engaged in quite a bit of self harm in their teens, and while I did try to love them through it, I went about all wrong. I always harped on prayer, essentially solidifying in their minds that they just weren’t being good enough and hence, more pain was heaped on them. I regret that I wasn’t more courageous, brave enough to follow my heart back then to say to hell with holiness and really listen and be there for them to help them work through their pain. Pain I had also caused through divorce. None of them went to church the minute they left home. For a while I thought it hurt me. That I hadn’t been a good enough example to them, but now that I have gone through years of soul searching and study and come to my senses and left the church and religion all together, we are all navigating life together. Closer than ever. And I would not have it any other way. They are my NOW, my purpose. I can only hope that the mistakes I made will be rectified. I feel like they are starting to be. Rituals and apostolates are never a substitute for pure and honest love and care and concern. If there is a God, I hope he recognizes that I am finally now trying to truly love and so are they. Thank you for being such a great writer and allowing me a forum to say the things that are in my heart.

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