Wow, that's a nice and powerful article Steve. I have a few tiny stories of strangers surprising me and being unexpectedly kind which, each time, made me remember that there can be good in people. It's funny because it's always when I'm not looking for it, sorta like how you're saying not to obsess over happiness because it's just obsessing over yourself. I find that when I'm not thinking of what other people can do for me, there's a plot twist and someone else gets me out of a jam. Like one time I was shopping for a book for my sister for Christmas and it was pretty expensive. I was worrying it would end up being the only present I could afford for her when out of the blue, as I anxiously brought it to the counter, the cashier told me the lady in front had already paid for whatever I was going to purchase. It was such a relief and surprise, I still wish I could thank that lady to this day!
Hi Steve. Great article. What does becoming useful mean for me? A few thoughts. Being a mentor, whether formally or informally. I have neither an advanced degree or recognition as an author, nor is it likely that I ever be considered a visionary. But, I have many years of experience as an engineer. I work with the junior staff to give them the insights from years of learning how things are designed and built. Yes, they come into the workforce with more computer skills than I will ever have, but they need someone who can help them transition from the theoretical of the classroom to the practical of the design team. It's not just teaching them how I would solve a particular challenge, it's asking questions, helping them to develop their own skills and confidence to become a task leader, a project manager, and more. Having a reputation of not only being knowledgeable but also willing to share it with others.
"Your interior landscape may as well be a crime scene".
Love. It.
I'm married to the 'before' image of all of this writing. Completely inward focused and self obsessed. The idea that 'usefulness' is a way out is really groundbreaking to me in its simplicity. Now if only I needed this information that'd be great. But How to get it into the mind of the self obsessed partner is another thing all together.
I really like HOW you write. Thank you. You are in fact good at it. And it is useful.
As a parent, you are helping your children. There are probably ways you can help your children MORE. Like setting goals for them: a book a month, and let's all sit around and discuss it, and maybe write something on or about the book (a "book report.") Tell the kids "We're going to learn ball room" and start with Salsa (by far the easiest). Think of a book that changed your life--hm, what book? "Anna Karenina" "Pride and Prejudice" and "War and Peace". Too advanced for children. I am trying to think of a book that grabbed me in my youth--"A Separate Peace." "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden", "Gone with the Wind." (Read the book, then watch the movie with the kids after reading the book--has to be age appropriate. "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden" is pretty good, but not for under age 13.) Get really good at a new skill that is useful: I sew things that I give away. Really useful stuff like quilts and big bags that I hand out to people who live in shelters. I also knit and crochet things I give to grannies in rocking chairs (shawls, lapghans). Then there's a neighbor who is completely alone--go visit that person on a regular basis and take one kid along. You will give that person huge delight. I've done this successively for 4 neighbors, and my family is actively involved with an elderly disabled neighbor who has no one in the world, because his family was wiped out in the Holocaust. Become a Big Brother of America. Become a Boy Scout Troop Leader (or just volunteer). Get your girl children in Girl Scouts and boy children in Boy Scouts. Volunteer at the local school (this is HARD, because you'll immediately be drafted into become a "substitute teacher", which is one of the worst jobs on the planet). Even I, a veteran volunteer, will not volunteer at schools. But if there were a small private school, I might do it if I couldn't find any other way to be useful. As it is, I'm too busy with the other volunteering. Learn to play a musical instrument (piano easiest) and teach it to the children as you go along. Have a "math camp" with the kids. Math is really important, and it is not being well taught in school.
Wow, that's a nice and powerful article Steve. I have a few tiny stories of strangers surprising me and being unexpectedly kind which, each time, made me remember that there can be good in people. It's funny because it's always when I'm not looking for it, sorta like how you're saying not to obsess over happiness because it's just obsessing over yourself. I find that when I'm not thinking of what other people can do for me, there's a plot twist and someone else gets me out of a jam. Like one time I was shopping for a book for my sister for Christmas and it was pretty expensive. I was worrying it would end up being the only present I could afford for her when out of the blue, as I anxiously brought it to the counter, the cashier told me the lady in front had already paid for whatever I was going to purchase. It was such a relief and surprise, I still wish I could thank that lady to this day!
Hi Steve. Great article. What does becoming useful mean for me? A few thoughts. Being a mentor, whether formally or informally. I have neither an advanced degree or recognition as an author, nor is it likely that I ever be considered a visionary. But, I have many years of experience as an engineer. I work with the junior staff to give them the insights from years of learning how things are designed and built. Yes, they come into the workforce with more computer skills than I will ever have, but they need someone who can help them transition from the theoretical of the classroom to the practical of the design team. It's not just teaching them how I would solve a particular challenge, it's asking questions, helping them to develop their own skills and confidence to become a task leader, a project manager, and more. Having a reputation of not only being knowledgeable but also willing to share it with others.
"Your interior landscape may as well be a crime scene".
Love. It.
I'm married to the 'before' image of all of this writing. Completely inward focused and self obsessed. The idea that 'usefulness' is a way out is really groundbreaking to me in its simplicity. Now if only I needed this information that'd be great. But How to get it into the mind of the self obsessed partner is another thing all together.
I really like HOW you write. Thank you. You are in fact good at it. And it is useful.
As a parent, you are helping your children. There are probably ways you can help your children MORE. Like setting goals for them: a book a month, and let's all sit around and discuss it, and maybe write something on or about the book (a "book report.") Tell the kids "We're going to learn ball room" and start with Salsa (by far the easiest). Think of a book that changed your life--hm, what book? "Anna Karenina" "Pride and Prejudice" and "War and Peace". Too advanced for children. I am trying to think of a book that grabbed me in my youth--"A Separate Peace." "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden", "Gone with the Wind." (Read the book, then watch the movie with the kids after reading the book--has to be age appropriate. "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden" is pretty good, but not for under age 13.) Get really good at a new skill that is useful: I sew things that I give away. Really useful stuff like quilts and big bags that I hand out to people who live in shelters. I also knit and crochet things I give to grannies in rocking chairs (shawls, lapghans). Then there's a neighbor who is completely alone--go visit that person on a regular basis and take one kid along. You will give that person huge delight. I've done this successively for 4 neighbors, and my family is actively involved with an elderly disabled neighbor who has no one in the world, because his family was wiped out in the Holocaust. Become a Big Brother of America. Become a Boy Scout Troop Leader (or just volunteer). Get your girl children in Girl Scouts and boy children in Boy Scouts. Volunteer at the local school (this is HARD, because you'll immediately be drafted into become a "substitute teacher", which is one of the worst jobs on the planet). Even I, a veteran volunteer, will not volunteer at schools. But if there were a small private school, I might do it if I couldn't find any other way to be useful. As it is, I'm too busy with the other volunteering. Learn to play a musical instrument (piano easiest) and teach it to the children as you go along. Have a "math camp" with the kids. Math is really important, and it is not being well taught in school.